Finding What Feeds You
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you." These words from Marianne Williamson have occupied my altar for the last decade or so, but it is only now that I am ready to hear. This “playing small” is something I have done yet it leaves me feeling ashamed and unimportant. Of course, my head knows it’s not true, but there are moments it feels so true.
It is our human condition to unconsciously hold onto false ideas and beliefs which can take over and drive us to resist what is actually happening inside of us. A lot of us run around at the speed of light and feel stressed and irritated without knowing why. Things that we unconsciously feel start to build up and the next thing you know an entire bag of potato chips is empty. I only know because this has happened to me more than once, and over time it has become my red flag alerting me that something is going on inside of me I don’t want to see. The good news is that once we are aware we can open our arms to what is, to make space for what can be.
The good news is that once we are aware we can open our arms to what is, to make space for what can be.
Clients who want to make changes to their diet will ask me “how do I make space for what is when it feels so bad”? I tell them to "start from where you are". One of the biggest Blessings of being a Health Coach is that I get to be the student of my own teachings! Starting from where I am means I don't get to start from where I want to be (dammit, really). This reminds me of a poem by Rumi called “The Guest House”, which I’ve included below and expresses beautifully this idea of opening to what is. When I sit quietly and intentionally breathe into the resistance, something happens. The more I let go and lean into what I am resisting the more connected I am to a Higher Truth. It is this space that moves me to serve in the way I am meant to for that day. The more I give of myself to others, the more I am filled with a sense a Purpose and Purity that actually makes me excited to make stir fried veggies. It sounds very new age, even to me, but my experience shows me that when I feed my Spirit with my own quiet breath it allows me to mindfully choose instead of unconsciously grab. If I want potato chips I can have them, the difference now is I will enjoy them as a treat instead of using them as medicine.
The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
— Jellaludin Rumi,
Natural Life Giving Nourishment